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Bango – Biggest threat to the Magic?

April 28, 2010

Since the Magic completed quite possibly the ugliest sweep in the history of playoff basketball on Monday night and the team taking the past few days off, I’ve been doing some research on our possible second round foes. With Milwaukee currently leading the series 3-2, the series is still too close to be called and either team could still pull it out. Both the Atlanta Hawks and the upstart Milwaukee Bucks, the two potential second round opponents, don’t exactly strike fear in my heart (Magic were a combined 7-1 against both teams this season).  However, one of those two teams has a secret weapon that I am not convinced the Orlando Magic truly are ready for.

If the Milwaukee Bucks somehow manage to upset the Hawks, I am convinced that the biggest threat the Bucks pose to the Magic is…BANGO!

FEAR THE DEER!

When the Playoffs started my thoughts on the Bucks were “Welcome back to the Playoffs. Enjoy your 4 games.” No Michael Redd, no Andrew Bogut, the Fresh Prince running the point, and now they might be our second round opponents? WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON?!?

After watching the game last night, I’ve finally figured out how they’re doing it. It’s all about the furry, 6-point, acrobatic Milwaukee Buck’s mascot, Bango! With Milwaukee playing their first Playoff game in 4 years, everyone knew that the crowd would be loud at the Bradley Center…but nobody expected this. The Bucks crowd has been crazy and the team has responded ever since returning home for Game 3.

He’s doing back-flip dunks off of 30 foot ladders for crying out loud! By now you’ve seen it, you’ve had to… and if not, here you go.

Bango Crazy Dunk

Even if you were a Hawks fan in that arena, you’re definitely getting more and more excited with every step higher he goes. I was at work the first time I saw the full clip and found myself throwing my arms up and screaming, “YES!” Bango is pulling out all of the stops, folks! It hurts me to admit that I felt such joy over a promotional stunt conducted by the enemy, but I cannot deny the pure excellence being shelled out up in cheese country. As a result, I have to call out one member of the Magic Faithful, right here and right now. This may be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but it has to be done…

Stuff: It is time to step up your game.

There, I did it. I’m not backing down! I mean look at what Bango is doing! Maybe he’s just trying to make everyone forget about how he limped off of the court a few years ago at the All Star Game (Yea, I haven’t forgotten). Perhaps it’s just to make himself feel better about his ridiculous name (seriously, Bango? How’d they come up with that? Maybe its because the gun goes “bang” then the deer go “oh” after they get shot. Bang! Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh! That’s my theory). Either way, Bango has clearly brought his “A” game out for the Playoffs. What have you done, Stuff?

You dyed your hair blue.

The "Shocking" Blue Stuff

Yes, you bungee jumped from the rafters for the Game 1 intros, but even Justin Bieber bungee jumped recently!  I’m not impressed! This is the Playoffs! This is supposed to be OUR YEAR! And all you’ve done is dye your hair? You look like Cookie Monster’s gay brother for crying out loud!

Stuff's Banished Brother

I love you, Stuff…but if the Bucks get past the Hawks there is only one thing that will be on our minds: Is Blue Stuff up to the challenge? Only time will tell.

STEP. UP. YOUR. GAME!

If you don’t, it might be Bingo, Bango, Bongoh noooo we’re out of the Playoffs. Magic Nation needs you Stuff, now more than ever. Don’t let us down!

10 Comments
  1. David McG. permalink
    April 29, 2010 9:46 AM

    I am glad old Stuff died his hair blue, since he was trying to rip of my beloved Philly Fanatic for the longest time (i get pissed when the girlfriend constantly reminds me he looks like the Philly fanatic and i have to constantly reminde her stuff is the impersonator). As far as out doing Bango, im not sure thats posible after that dunk. Maybe he can impregnate one of the Magic Dancers and then his reputation will be solitified forever in Orlando. Short of that im out of ideas. We will see what happens!!!! Go Magic, Go Phillies!!

  2. April 29, 2010 9:50 AM

    Wow this is crazy but could really be a determining factor. I don’t know what I would do if we lost a plaoff series because the other team had a better mascot, so Stuff get urself to gether & try to destract the refs so they can stop calling Dwight Howard 4 all these fouls

  3. scottydubs permalink
    April 29, 2010 11:12 AM

    I agree that Stuff needs to step it up, but he is NOT a rip off of the Philly Fanatic! Have you ever heard of Puff the Magic Dragon? I think that’s the most logical connection. Why do you say that he’s a rip off, just because he’s green? What other color are you gonna make a dragon? Stuff: go back to the green, you look like the cookie monster

  4. April 29, 2010 1:53 PM

    Greetings from Brewtown.

    Thanks for recognizing the terror that is Bango. Rumor has it he will get a 25 foot ladder for Game 6.

    Hope to see you in Round 2.

  5. April 29, 2010 1:54 PM

    Oh, PS: The name Bango comes from Ediie Doucette, the original broadcast announcer for the Bucks – it was one of his catch phrases when a big shot was made.

  6. April 29, 2010 2:37 PM

    Wow, that is an impressive feat by Bango. Stuff needs to do a Magic trick called the “Disappearing Floor Mat” for Bango’s next dunk.

  7. AnD2 permalink
    April 29, 2010 4:51 PM

    The only way Stuff can compete with Bango is by standing on top of D. Howard’s ego, and after falling 3 stories, landing an old school NBA Jamz style dunk. Come on, Stuff can’t compete…its like asking your grandmother to sprint a 4.1 forty. Not happening. Orlando done in the 2nd round.

  8. Brian's Grandmother permalink
    April 29, 2010 5:27 PM

    Dear AnD2,

    I taught Usain Bolt everything he knows, punk.

  9. AnD2 permalink
    April 29, 2010 5:32 PM

    In that case, I hope you taught the Magic how to run away next round.

  10. Kenny permalink
    April 30, 2010 5:03 PM

    Actually Stuff looks like the Philly Fanatic because Pat Williams “Sr Vice President” of the Magic used to be on the Sixers staff and is a native of my state Delaware which is close to Philly and the baseball team for us is the Phillies.

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